Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Henrietta Nellie Kistler was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to Hilda and James Kistler in 1919. Henrietta had two sisters, Elizabeth and Jessie, and one brother, Edgar. Her father worked as a salesman, while her mother was a homemaker. Sadly, baby Edgar died at a young age from Scarlet Fever and when Henrietta was three-years-old, her father died unexpectedly. A year later, her mother met Charles Cooper riding in a streetcar. The couple had a lot in common and soon married. Mr. Cooper became known as "Daddy," and the couple had two more children, Ola and Lawrence. The family lived in the beautiful hills of Mount Washington in Pittsburgh, overlooking the 3 rivers. Henrietta was greatly influenced by her mother who was resilient, tough and independent. She learned many lessons from her mother. In high school, she was athletic and participated in track as a runner. She said she was a runner so she could keep up with the boys. She was a bit of a tomboy but always had the best looking legs. She also excelled in her studies. In fact, she skipped two grades and graduated at the young age of 15 from Knoxville High School.

At the age of 16, Henrietta married Al Dohrer in a church ceremony in Pittsburgh. Al worked as a machinist. The couple had two sons: Charles and Larry. After divorcing Al, Henrietta met Ernie Donner and they started dating. Their son, Ernie, was born prematurely at 5 and a half months. He was born in September and he was in the hospital until April. When the doctors said he needed full-time nursing care, Henrietta decided a move was in order because she loved her sons more than life itself. In 1951, Henrietta, Hilda, Larry, Charlie and Ernie all moved to Long Beach, California. With no spending money for bassinets or cribs in those days, Ernie's bed became an open dresser drawer and she cared for her baby day and night nursing him to health. Hilda returned to Pennsylvania to help raise baby Diane, but eventually moved back to California in 1968 and Diane became Henrietta's adopted daughter.

Over the years, Henrietta said that she married Ernie's dad five times, but eventually they divorced. She raised her kids on her own while she worked as an accountant for a variety of companies. She worked the longest for Swiss Cleaners doing the bookkeeping and retired at age 75. For extra income, she worked through tax season from January 15th to April 15th. She was always a hard worker, while she was also dedicated to her family. As a mother, she was wonderful. When Ernie didn't make the basketball team, Henrietta personally called the coach and asked him to give Ernie a chance at a tryout. He did exactly that and Ernie tried out and made the team. She was always encouraging those she loved.

Early on, the family lived in a bungalow across the street from the ocean and the entrance to the Long Beach Pike. The kids went to the beach a lot. Sometimes their home flooded from the ocean waters, but they always made do with what they had. She oftentimes told the story about someone breaking into their home and stealing her purse one day and returning it the next day because there was no money in it. She always wanted a pool for the kids and in 1969 she made that dream come true with the purchase of her home in Long Beach and breaking ground on putting in that special pool.

After Ernie married Carol in 1977 and moved a block and a half from her home, Henrietta opened up her heart and her house to students from the International house at California State University Long Beach. From 1978 until 2007, she had students live at her home from August to May during the school year. The students were from all over the world: Turkey, Germany, Australia, China, Uzbekistan, and other countries. The students said how they loved her cooking and wonderful hospitality. She entertained students, friends and family in her home for birthdays, weddings, and celebrations of all kinds. The students kept in touch with Henrietta after they returned to their homeland, but a few also moved to the United States. Silke, from Germany, and Ling Ling, from China, both live in the United States and Henrietta attended their wedding ceremonies. Silke, another adopted daughter was very special to Henrietta. She constantly provided loving support and cookies, as Silke studied for her masters degree at CSULB. They all have remained good friends with Henrietta and send cards and photos regularly. Everyone who met her was fond of her. Henrietta's home is filled with memories at every turn. There are gifts from the students overseas, photos of the students, and a life long love of family in every corner of the house. Photos of the family decorate the walls. In the kitchen, the cookie jar is always full. When anyone steps inside the front door, they feel welcomed into a comfortable place of hometown love.

The holidays were always important to Henrietta. For Easter, she loved decorating eggs and created big, beautiful baskets for the Easter Basket Hunt. Ernie's basket always had chocolate covered cherries in it. In fact, she hid an Easter basket for Ernie into his 50s saying, "You won't be able to find your basket this year." As everyone got older, she put movie tickets or gift cards into the baskets and everyone always loved Easter. For Thanksgiving, she taught everyone how to bake the perfect turkey with all of the fixings. She also did this amazing thing when she made Angel food cake. She cooled it upside down on a 30+-year-old bottle and it came out perfect every time.

For Christmas, she created beautiful money trees of $1 bills so you could buy what you needed. Her double doorway was filled with Christmas cards from all over the world. Christmas presents were always opened at her home and then she made a ham dinner for the family. She loved decorating her tree and house with ornaments from her childhood to ones sent to her from International students. Her New Year's tradition was to eat dumplings, sauerkraut, and pork because she said a pig "roots forward and you should always bring in the new year moving forward." Birthday cakes were always homemade with love. Everything she did for others was always done with special thought for each individual. Diane always came back for the holidays and she visited regularly. Henrietta was so thoughtful throughout the year. For Mother's Day one year she sent a UPS letter with money in it to her granddaughter Victoria with advice: "Take your mom out for Mother's Day." On other Mother's Day holidays, the women and mothers rested while the men did the cooking.

Traditional in her life, Henrietta washed her clothes on Saturdays and hung the clothing on the line outside to dry. She liked to cook at home and she liked to have her meals on schedule, especially dinner on the table by 5:30 pm. She never hesitated at setting another place at the dinner table; so many people were welcomed into her house over the years. She liked drinking coffee all day long and always offered a cup to family and friends who visited. She was a great cook of German specialties such as sauerkraut and German potato salad. She offered cookies or dessert after every special meal. In fact, you never left her home without having dessert. Known as Grandma to her grandchildren, they loved to have "Grandma's Steaks" because she was such a good cook and she loved barbequed rib eye steaks.

She had a gift in making each one of her grandchildren feel loved and supported in pursuing their dreams. Her granddaughter, Heather, lived with Grandma for four years and worked in a pet store. That is how Henrietta received an African Grey Parrot named Cleo. The parrot can imitate Henrietta's words and even her cough. Sometimes Cleo barks like a dog, imitating Skipper, the dog. She always had pet dogs and named them all Skipper, but she also had a pet monkey for a while. The monkey became extremely attached to her and it would swing all over the house from curtain to curtain. Eventually, she had to find the monkey another home. Her most recent dog, Skipper, was always fed like a King with dry dog food, cooked rice and chicken broth. Instead of a dog dish, it was more like a dog platter and the dog loved every bite.

Henrietta put everyone else first and rarely went to the doctor. After a car accident, when Ernie was a child, she nursed herself back to health. In 1977, she was climbing in the rafters of the attic getting dishes for a friend for their Thanksgiving dinner, when she fell and broke her pelvis and both wrists. Her son, Ernie, finally got her in an ambulance, but much to displeasure. She never wanted to be a burden or worry to anyone.

In 1970, Bernie became a great partner to Henrietta. They spent every weekend together and she saw him as part of the family. In fact, she said he was the one man who she should've married. Sadly, he passed away in 1985. Bernie gave Henrietta a heart and diamond necklace that she wore every day and she made sure that necklace was given to Diane to keep and wear.

With her spirit of being a caregiver, it made sense that Diane earned her degrees and became a nurse. Henrietta wore those nursing degrees proudly and she insisted people address Diane as Professor. Over the years, when Larry and later Charlie took ill, Henrietta called on Diane to help and she did every time. Larry required a lot from her and she cared for him lovingly and without burden. With Charlie, she took care of him for more than a month when she was 84, by traveling up to his home in Washington in the snow. By cooking for him and caring for him, she made his last days bearable. Henrietta was always devoted to her children and she would do absolutely anything and everything she could to help them.

She loved to go to Las Vegas once a year, and Ernie can remember looking through the window of the Casino watching her play slot machines when he was little. She was good at gambling and sometimes made enough money playing craps that her winnings paid for the trip to Vegas, the mortgage and monthly bills. In Las Vegas, she sometimes stayed up until 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning, enjoying a nice breakfast with her family after winning. Later in life, she liked visiting the Indian Casinos for the slot machines. At her home, she has a 1943-nickel slot machine that still works today. For fun, Henrietta liked playing the card game 500, a game she learned in Pittsburgh. She also loved playing Uno, Yatzee and Skippo with the family. Her good friends Delores and John visited every Tuesday night and played cards.

She loved music by Patsy Cline and songs by the Rat Pack, especially Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Of Dean Martin she once said, "He could put his shoes under my bed anytime." Henrietta loved watching the Game Show Network on TV and Jeopardy. It kept her sharp by trying to guess the answers. She liked doing crossword puzzles from the newspaper or she'd order books of crossword puzzles. She had an incredible memory, as she was able to tell detailed stories from many years ago. A lover of sports all of her life, her favorite teams were the Los Angeles Lakers and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Her favorite players were Kobe Bryant of the Lakers and Jered Weaver of the Angels.

Henrietta was a lady of strength who didn't believe in pity parties for small problems. She made light of life's experiences whether good or bad and she always looked at the glass as half full. She valued what she worked for during her lifetime and she always said thank you to everyone who offered kindness. She always wanted to pay for all her expenses and would not let you "treat her", because she remembered the hard times she endured. There were special, memorable times over the years. Her grandchildren fondly remember going on "Slurpy" trips to 711 with Grandma. While there were many treats, she also thought it was important to buy things you needed. For Diane, she bought her underwear and bras into her 30s because she needed them. Henrietta was the kind of lady who would give you the shirt off of her back.

Spiritually, she believed in God and prayed in her own way. The family said grace in German at the dinner table before meals. She joked that on Sundays she goes to the church of St. Mattress. She had many funny sayings. When someone set a baby on the table she said, "Tables are for glasses, not asses." Socializing and visiting around the table was important to her. For young ladies looking for a companion, she often said to them "Men are like streetcars. One comes along every hour," or "There is one on every corner."

Less than a year ago, Henrietta said, "I've outrun Father Time all my life, but he's finally caught up with me." No matter her health, she was always sharp as a tack. When the time came for Henrietta to go the hospital, her young grandson, Bryan, found the strength to get her to the doctor and admitted at the hospital. In many ways, he inherited Henrietta's found strength. She rebounded several times over the last year. In January 2009, for her 90th birthday, Diane sent her 90 different birthday cards through the mail. It was special to receive so many thoughtful cards when she reached that incredible milestone. Until the end of her days, she lived in her own home, took care of the pool every day, and even gardened. She liked gardening and she mowed her own yard through her mid-80's. Her favorite flowers were roses. She liked growing tomatoes, bell peppers, squash and cucumbers as well. She loved having people come to her house to enjoy her bounty.

Throughout her life, her favorite color was pink and she liked wearing pink. She was independent, feisty and she lived her life her way. At 90, she was still standing on the sink cleaning her cupboards. Her greatest role in life was as a caregiver. Happiest when she was taking care of others, she was so very proud of the relationships she made over the years and kept in touch with everyone who became a part of her life. She loved her family unconditionally and gave of her heart and soul. At her home hangs a sign on the wall that says, "Henrietta loves you all." And that was absolutely true. She was known for her love, care, incredible strength and incredible wisdom. Henrietta never complained, even in her last hours, she maintained her dignity throughout her final days on earth. As she passed away at home, she was surrounded by the family who loved her so very much.

As Henrietta will be laid to rest with flowers and Diane's nursing pin, her family will miss everything about her, because she was truly one-of-a-kind. You always knew you could go home again and she was a great listener with good advice. With her giving nature, she'd cook an extra plate of food for people who needed it and she would stand by someone as long and to the end as needed. Her children are eternally grateful. An amazing matriarch, she instilled her strength, confidence and positive attitude in every generation to follow. The greatest person the family has ever known, Henrietta will best be remembered as a caregiver, mother and grandmother to all.

To Henrietta: "We thank you… We love you… and always will…"

Henrietta was preceded in death by her parents Hilda and James; siblings Elizabeth, Jessie, Edgar, Lawrence, and Ola; husband Al Dohrer; ex-husband Ernie Donner; and sons Charles and Larry. She is loved and remembered by her son Ernie and his wife Carol; "daughter" Diane and her husband Grady; grandchildren Heather, Jennifer, Bryan, Charlie, Christine, Carolyn, Victoria, Adam, and Susan; 12 great-grandchildren; one great-great-grandchild; extended relatives and family; many exchange students including Oli, Jacky, Ralf, Ling Ling, Silke, Ivette, Jochem, Malty, Kevin, Tonja, Goohl, and Calvin; neighbors and friends.

In her memory, the cookie jar will never be empty again…