Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Patricia Jane French was born to Dorothy and Russell French in Bell, California. She had four siblings: Jim, Jenny, Yvonne and Doreen. Her mother, who owned a health food store in the San Francisco area, raised Pat and her siblings. Pat was greatly influenced by her Aunt Aggie. In fact, Aunt Aggie, who served as a nurse during the war, shared her caring and giving nature with the next generation as she was a role model. Pat graduated from Bell High School and went onto beauty school. For a few years, she worked as a beautician before meeting Ray Brendlinger. Pat and Ray were married in 1946. The couple welcomed five children into the world: Donna, Mary, Nancy, John and Carol.

Pat was a wonderful mother who was very supportive of her children's interests. She was a stay-at-home mom who cared for the children. She taught them how to cook and how to be responsible by giving them chores. She was very involved with the PTA and school. Pat was the kind of mom who got down on the floor to play with the kids and always taught her children to do what is right in the world. Every Saturday night, all of the children showered for church on Sunday morning. Pat put the girls' hair in pin curls, while she washed and combed John's hair so it looked really nice. She was extremely fair and equal with all of her children, exposing them to everything the world had to offer. She especially enjoyed taking them to the beach, a place she loved so very much. But, she made it educational by taking them to the tide pools or searching for shells. She loved to take the kids on walks along Seal Beach to collect shells and starfish. She'd take the kids to the beach with the striped umbrella, packed lunches and the group would make a day of it spending time together. There were also vacations. They'd go to Lake Elizabeth in the Mountains where a friend had a cabin. Even when they were snowed in, it was still a wonderful family trip and they made the best of time spent together. On one occasion Nancy, John and Pat had to be rescued by helicopter as the kids needed their medication.

Pat was always there for her children. When John was only five-years-old and lost his eyesight after a tricycle accident, Pat loaded everyone into the car to go to Children's Hospital. John went through an incredible life-saving surgery to remove a tumor and blood clots on the brain. His eyesight returned and he is a walking miracle today because of that surgery. When Nancy was suffering from epileptic seizures, Pat helped her learn to walk and talk all over again. Years later, when Carol was injured in a surfing accident, Pat cleared the beach and rushed her to the doctor for immediate care. The children always came first in her life. With five kids, they always went through couches and screen doors. But, Pat took it in stride accepting that the kids had a lot of energy. She was smart in teaching them. Taking a hands-on approach, she met them on their level to explain things.

Pat hand-sewed clothing for the children and even made Easter dresses for the girls and dress shirts for John. She also sewed uniforms for Carol when she was the school mascot. She never had anything for herself, but if she received extra money to spend, she bought material and made more clothes for her children. She always took care of the family. If she ever had a sick relative or friend, she made the time to help them as well. She was a wonderful caretaker and giver all of her life. She attended all of John's little league baseball games and High School Football games. She supported her kids at every turn. She taught the kids how to be organized. If they weren't organized, she helped them get organized by having them sort their dresser drawers. She also taught them right from wrong, telling them to stand up for the underdog in school. If someone was picking on a child with a disability, they stood up and spoke out because of what Pat taught them in life. When Pat and Ray were involved in the AA program, the kids were included in the wonderful 4th of July picnics. They'd make all of the food and it was a good way to teach the kids how to cook. The entire family always had a good time at the picnics and the kids won a lot of prizes. Pat read the Daily Word and said the Serenity Prayer every day.

Family was a priority. Pat would pick up Grandma and Grandpa and bring them to the house every weekend for a big family dinner at home. Holidays were special events. Pat always made a nice dinner for the family. For Easter holidays, she made individual Easter baskets and lined them up for all of the children. Of course, John would eat his basket before anyone got up then wanted the other kids to share their baskets. When the kids were in high school, Pat worked at a market. All the neighborhood kids would come to see her there. She taught Carol how to use a cash register and she helped John get a job at the market. Pat was the one mom who was always loved by her children's friends. Their friends would ask, "How's your mom?" Pat had an open door policy for all of their friends as they were the house to go to on the block. They had an in-ground swimming pool, which was welcomed by the neighborhood children. In Pat's later years, she would spend Thanksgiving along the Colorado River with her family. The family had a house there and Pat always participated by going boating or taking a ride in a golf cart.

The children were raised as Christians, attending services at the First Baptist Church of Norwalk. Pat volunteered as a Sunday School Teacher and also helped with Vacation Bible School. Years later, all of the children would be married at that same church. Throughout her life, Pat always made a point to openly love her children. She always said "I love you" and gave them hugs. The kids knew they were loved.

After 28 years of marriage, Pat and Ray divorced. They remarried and divorced several times over the next several years, but they always had a special bond. When Pat was in her 50's and single again, she went back to school to become a teacher. She taught cooking classes for more than a decade at Cerritos High School. When she had gang members in her class, they tried to give her a hard time, but she didn't put up with the attitude. As a result, they respected her. When one gang papered her car in the school parking lot, another gang made them clean it off. Everybody loved Pat. She was never afraid to try anything, believing you're never too old to learn. Surprising everyone, she learned how to shoot a gun. When she retired, she took painting lessons. She created beautiful scenic paintings for each one of her children. She also painted a statue of praying hands for each one of her children. She truly enjoyed painting as a hobby as she often created little drawings when the kids were young. With her ability to sew and knit, she truly had an artistic ability that she put to great use. She enjoyed the beauty of nature as her favorite flowers were roses. Her favorite color was blue, exactly like her beautiful blue eyes.

When Ray was on his deathbed 21 years ago, he asked for Pat to come to his bedside. She was willing to go to see him. He passed away before she could get there, but she did talk to him on the phone. Their connection was strong. Later, Pat remarried Jim Clark. The couple moved to Bodfish, California, where they created a new life together enjoying retirement. The couple had a little Daschund that they named P.J. She and Jim had a lot of friends. They were very involved in the local AA program. They also started Meals on Wheels in Bodfish and helped to deliver meals. They enjoyed helping other people. As time went on Pat's mother moved to Bodfish, where they were able to spend more time together. Pat's mom enjoyed spending time with the kids as they came up to take care of their mother. Everybody enjoyed spending time with Pat and she was extremely popular with the entire community.

With her grandchildren, Pat got very involved. She sat down and played games with them or took her shoes off and got down on the floor and played marbles with them. Her specialty was playing cards. She was an incredible poker player. She never let the grandchildren win a game. In fact, most of the time she won the pot of money at the end of the game. If you were able to beat her, you knew you earned the win. There are so many wonderful memories and pictures of her playing with her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Whenever there was a situation in the family, Pat was always there to help. When John's family faced Chad's leukemia, Pat moved in for brief periods of time to help with the other kids. She was always organizing and trying to help in every way possible. She even helped to organize blood donation drives.

When Pat suffered a stroke, it was frustrating, but she dealt with challenges as they came. She always enjoyed visits from her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She especially enjoyed going out to dinner with family. She loved Mexican food and her favorite beverage was coffee. In fact, she made iced coffees when the kids were growing up, long before they became popular. Pat was, in many ways, responsible for her own care taking a hands-on approach. If the convalescent home nurses wouldn't answer her beeper, she called the hospital on the telephone in her hospital room or called 911 for help. The nurses respected and adored her because she listened to them and talked to them about their lives.

Pat's purpose in life was to care for others. As she believed in God and Heaven, her family feels she is at peace now. Likeable and loveable, Pat was giving, kind and thoughtful throughout her life. She had a great sense of humor and loved to laugh. She will be remembered as a wonderful person, who rose above circumstances and dealt with challenges. Her family will miss everything about her, especially her enduring love. Her advice would be to make the most of life.

Her mother lived to be over 100 and died 3 yrs ago. Pat was preceded in death by her mother Dorothy; husband Ray; husband Jim; and grandson Chad. She is remembered by her daughter Donna; daughter Mary and her husband Dave; daughter Nancy and her husband Michael; son John and his wife Jackie; daughter Carol and her husband Gilbert; 13 grandchildren; and 16 great-grandchildren.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

--Reinhold Niebuhr