Celebrant Pam Vetter


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Articles Submit: Funeral Celebrants: The Word Is Spreading

by Pam Vetter

Whether you are preparing for the loss of a loved one or someone dies unexpectedly, organizing a funeral can be overwhelming. If you've never organized a funeral before, the task can be compounded by time constraints.

Certified Funeral Celebrants are improving funerals worldwide. Families use Celebrants to research someone's life story while also organizing and personalizing details for a funeral service. Families want the best possible funeral to honor their loved one and Celebrants deliver.

There are more than 750 Certified Funeral Celebrants in the United States, Canada, and abroad.

Pam Vetter is a Certified Funeral Celebrant who is actively working in the Los Angeles area of California. Vetter says, "I am called in by families just after someone has died. It's overwhelming for them. I take on the responsibility of organizing a personal funeral service for their loved one. The only thing they have to do is share stories wtih me about their loved one's life. The unique and funny stories that made them special, different from everyone else. The family and I go through music options, listen to some choices sometimes, and then discuss ceremonial options. Delivering a personal service that represents someone's life is important to me. For many, this is the most important day in someone's life...remembering their loved one in a personal way. It's my honor to help families in their most difficult time."

Vetter came into this line of work after the cancer death of her sister in April 2004. Her sister, Dr. Diane Meily, met with a funeral director, chose her own casket, and organized her own funeral service. When it came time to discuss the service with Meily's pastor, Vetter encountered a road block. The pastor told Vetter "No," to several elements of the service, including the playing of CD music in the form of the Josh Groban song, "You Raise Me Up." Vetter and her family grew frustrated but thought they were left with little choice to go elsewhere to hold the service at the last minute. So, during the eulogy, Vetter sang the song and the audience unexpectedly applauded in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Vetter said, "Applause at a funeral is unheard of, especially in Lancaster."

Vetter said, "I cannot thank that pastor enough to exposing a system that does not help families heal. There is healing through participation and personalization. I have made it my mission in life to spread the word of Celebrants while also helping families by personalizing services for their loved ones. This is not an anti-religious movement, as many Celebrant services are religious or spiritual. Instead this brings everyone into the process, whether they attend church regularly or not. Everyone deserves to be included in the process. The days of cookie-cutter services are over. The thank you notes I receive from families are proof of a movement that is helping families start healing."

In fact, Vetter is not the only one to take on a new role in funeral service. Her sister, Sue McKlveen, from Wisconsin, builds web sites for Certified Funeral Celebrants. McKlveen said, "I want to help the Celebrant cause because everyone deserves to be heard in the funeral process. Celebrants give families a way to be heard which helps them move forward after a loss. The Celebrants I work with are amazing, caring people who want to deliver the best service for each family. Web sites help spread the word of the Celebrant option."

"My sister's death changed many lives. We still hear from her high students who want to make her proud by gaining a college education, by reaching for their dreams, or by finding a mission in their life." In fact, in a videotape Meily recorded for her funeral, she closed with the final words, "Find out of what your mission is and get it done." Words that remind us each and every day that there is more to life than just walking through the motions. Vetter reminds us, "When you are faced with organizing a funeral, ask your funeral director for a Certified Funeral Celebrant. Supply will meet demand. If everyone asks for a Celebrant, one day soon, there will be a Celebrant available to every family who requests one."

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