Celebrant Pam Meily Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

TRIBUTE FOR SUZANNE STARR GRAY

Life’s Journey...

1956 - 2021

"The first adventure in life begins with family…" Suzanne was born at Camp Pendleton in San Diego, to her parents, Diane and Robert, on January 8th, 1956. Sue was raised with her sister Sally. Her father was a Navy Corpsman. After he left the military, the family moved to the San Fernando Valley. Sue was greatly influenced by both of her parents.

Sue's first job was Candy Striping at North Hollywood Lodge and Sanitarium owned by her parents. Sue helped the patients at the hospital as a nurses' aide. She was always so giving and caring. She loved people and animals. She loved to swim, she took dancing lessons, and she was good at sports, especially tetherball.

"Traveling into the next adventure, love was around the corner..." Both Sue and Bill Gray grew up in the same neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley, they attended the same schools at Holmes Junior High and James Monroe High School, and they shared the same friends. But there was a three-year age difference and at the time, it seemed like a big deal.

It wasn't until she was 21 and Bill was 24 that they started dating. Bill thought she was awfully cute and fun. They would go out together and he always enjoyed being around her. Back then they called that "Smitten." Well, Bill was definitely smitten with Suzie.

Looking back, it was funny. First, her toothbrush moved in and ended up in the cabinet. Then, the closet filled up with a few of her clothes… and their relationship progressed naturally. After a year of dating, Bill knew Sue was the one. He did not get down on one knee but instead he just asked her, "What do you think about getting married?"

Sue smiled and said, "Yes!"

The couple was married on July 14th, 1978.

Their relationship worked well. Bill did the grocery shopping and he was more of the cook in the house. He also had the green thumb while Sue enjoyed decorating.

As a wife, Sue was a lot of fun. They traveled quite a bit together. They took half a dozen cruises before having children and continued to cruise at least 20 times through their marriage. They cruised a lot with Sue's Mom and Stepdad. Sue would plan vacations right down to the smallest detail. They'd also go to her parents' beach house in Ventura. They'd go out to the restaurants. They'd go out on the dock, they'd go out on the boat, and they were always doing something fun.

"Professionally, Sue traveled into doing bookkeeping…" Sue loved numbers and she started doing bookkeeping and collecting in the early 70's for Bio Med Laboratories, her parents' lab business. As her parents' lab business grew, they tested blood, they were one of the first to test for Aids, and Sue did bookkeeping for them. She also took care of the household bills. There's nothing better than working with your family. Her business grew and she had many accounts as a bookkeeper.

"Adventuring into parenthood… Sue loved all of her children." Bill had a son, William IV, from his first marriage and the couple went on to have two more sons together, Danny and Jimmy. She loved being a mother to the kids.

As a mother, Sue was always fun, very sweet, and a generous woman. She took her time to do things with the kids. She took them to school in the morning and picked them up in the afternoon. She'd take the boys to the beach, Hurricane Harbor, and to the Skate Park for skateboarding. Sue was always an excellent roller skater and she would skate with friends at Skateland. When their sons got older, she taught them how to skate and she got both boys to join a Roller Hockey League for a few years.

There were many vacations in Ventura. Sue's mother was on the California State Fair Board and so the family benefited with a lot of perks at the hospitality trailer. The kids could come and go at the Fair, attend tractor pulls, concerts, and eat hot donut treats! Sue had the keys to the house in Ventura and she and the family could stay any time, they were always welcome, they'd take the kids, and she was really proud of her mother's position on the board.

During the 80s and 90s, Sue and her family spent most weekends at her parents' beach house in Ventura. They'd enjoy boating, the beach, and every Christmas. In the summertime, she would pack up the kids and their friends and they'd go to the fair for a few days. Sue always had something planned.

From around 2000 to 2019, Sue and her family spent weekends at the family ranch in Santa Barbara County where they grew grapes and made wine. Sue would invite friends up for the weekend and they would have barbeques and wine tasting. It was a great place for the kids and their friends to get out of the city and experience country life.

Camping and boating at the local lakes were regular adventures as well. As the children got older, they started going to the Colorado River where they rented houseboats and houses. Sue would organize meals for everyone and activities for the kids.

When the boys were teenagers, Sue did whatever she could to plan a family vacation together. But being at home was an equal adventure.

The family has lived in the same house for 37 years and they had pool parties all summer long. The kids would bring over friends and all of those friends are grown up now.

The boys couldn't leave the house without giving Sue a hug.

By the time everyone started getting Ring doorbells, Jimmy was living in the guest house and when he came home from work, Sue was alerted by Ring that he was home. So she would send him a text message to check on him. It was comforting.

Bill first started his business by working out of a garage and he grew Sierra Cabinets quickly. Sue did the bookkeeping and the family business expanded when the boys joined Bill in the cabinet business. Jimmy has been working with Bill for 15 years and Danny joined the business about a year ago. It started with the boys coming to the shop, grabbing a piece of wood, and going to work. Sue was happy they worked together.

"Along the road traveled in life are many favorites…" Sue loved traveling. She'd go up to her girlfriends' houses for visits to Three Rivers, California and Bellingham, Washington.

Wherever she was, Sue loved to talk. During a guided tour of St. Thomas Island, Sue and a new friend were busy in the back of the bus with their own conversation and complimentary Rum punch. The tour bus driver announced over the microphone, "Will the two Rum punch ladies hold it down?" After that, Sue became known as the Rum punch lady.

During the summertime, when Sue wasn't in Ventura or at the Ranch, she would have people over to the Northridge house for swimming, while she worked on Jigsaw puzzles. She loved puzzles and probably put together hundreds of puzzles over the years.

She also loved sushi at Yanagi in Northridge so much so that they had their own seats and their own sets of chopsticks. Yanagi was her favorite restaurant!

She also loved her pets. She had a little dog, named Satin, for 16 years and later she had another little dog Lacey, for another 16 years. She had a big heart for animals.

"Sue's road to becoming a grandparent was a joyous one!" Sue was overjoyed with the birth of her grandson Mason James Gray. They had a special relationship. Sue watched Mason for five days a week for his first five years of life. Mason became the love of her life and they did everything together. One of the things they did, when Mason was old enough, was going to her favorite sushi bar, Yanagi, for lunch. Mason also became part of the Yanagi family and he would order his favorite things. They went so often that Sue would tell Mason not to tell Grandpa they went out to lunch again. Sue also took Mason to his very first swim lessons and she would work with him in her pool at home.

"Holidays were one of Sue's favorite adventures…" Sue would decorate the house for every holiday: Valentine's, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Thanksgiving was a big holiday for her.

Through the years, she had the most beautiful collectible ornaments and each one had meaning to her. She'd spend two days decorating the main Christmas tree and it looked like it was right out of Macy's. She invested time in her trees. She'd sit back and look at the tree to make sure it was perfect. She'd drink her coffee, look at the Christmas tree, and move an ornament by an inch. Details were important to her.

She also had a Christmas tree that she called the Travel Tree with traveling ornaments. She had a special tree for her Grandson Mason. She would even buy a tree and decorate it for the Guest House. She had many Christmas trees. She even had a tree at the Ranch. And they'd have big Christmas celebrations in Ventura with a big Christmas tree and lots of presents.

Sue loved buying the best presents for everyone. She'd buy her friends and everyone else's kids presents. In fact, after she passed, her family found a list of gifts to buy in her phone. There was a checklist with names for Christmas gifts from a bag of pistachios to a bottle of wine. She was thoughtful.

"As the sky draws to a close, leave no adventure undone." Two weeks before she got sick, Sue had just returned from a cruise to Italy and Greece, which was on her bucket list. When traveling, Sue always made sure she got a shirt for her and her grandson at every port.

Sue loved to shop whenever there was free time in a new place, she would be browsing stores for some memento to bring home. Sue collected many things and one of them was roosters. She'd place roosters between the ranch house and her home. She probably collected over 100 of them.

While she was in the hospital, Sue was the fun patient that all of the nurses and staff liked. Her family and friends kept her supplied with plenty of joke gifts that kept everyone laughing – fart boxes, twerking Santa, and more. The second stay didn't go so well because it was during the Covid lockdown and there were no visitors. Sue felt like she was in prison and hated it. One of the nurses risked her job and would coordinate with Bill by telephone to sneak Sue outside for a visit.

When Sue was released from the hospital and came home and had several wonderful caregivers. One of them that stood out was Gina. Sue grew very fond of Gina. I know if Sue were here today, she would love to give Gina a big hug!

"The final road in a meaningful life is to show purpose," and Sue showed her purpose repeatedly as she was family oriented. Her life was about all of the people in her life. Each one of you was a special decoration in her life and she was grateful for all of you.

Bill and their sons will miss her smile and her infectious laughter. She laughed and she made you laugh. Dan went through the photo album and everything was labeled dating back to 1979. In every photo, she had a huge smile. Sue will best be remembered as loving, caring, and she enjoyed seeing everyone have a good time.

She was a devoted wife and best friend to Bill – they've been married since 1978. She also offered unconditional love and understanding to their sons and grandson. And she always gave from the heart. Bill, their sons, and grandson miss everything about Sue now.

Her advice to everyone would be to remember her but move forward and be happy in your own lives.

Sue was preceded in death by her father, Robert, and her stepfather, Dave. She is loved and remembered by her mother Diane; her husband Bill; her son Daniel, fiancé Lisa, and grandson Mason; her son James and fiancé Jennifer; her stepson William IV; her sister Sally; extended family and many friends.